Fairy tale happiness is possible from within

bestself divorce healing Jan 30, 2021

I have always been fascinated with the idea of fairy tales.  As a little girl, I poured over books and movies that promised a happily ever after.  Before I could read as a toddler I was reciting the entire book of Cinderella since my mom read it to me every night before bed.  And, no surprise, as a young adult I loved watching romantic comedies.  When Harry Met Sally, Return to Me, Pretty Woman, Can’t Buy Me Love.  Classics, right?  And now, the Modern Love column in the NY Times is one of my favorites to read. 

When I think back on this, now that I am in my 40’s and divorced, I wonder how real the “fairy tale” can be for anyone.   I have many clients who are at a point of complete and utter dismay, thinking they don’t even want to believe fairy tale happiness is possible.  Why wouldn’t we just throw away the entire notion of a fairy tale, let alone a fairy tale ending?

With the divorce rate hovering around 40% on average, and with 50% of all U.S. children living with a step-parent or blended family of some kind, I can certainly attest that the fairy tale you dreamed about may not look at all like what you were told when you were growing up.  I have two ex-husbands, three ex-stepchildren and no biological children.  If someone were to tell me by age 41 that this would be my headline, I would have cried.

But, now that I am at this point in my life and have significant relationship experience under my belt thanks to what the universe provided, I can boldly affirm that my headline is beautiful.  My story is just that – my story.  I can’t change it; I can only write better chapters in the future.

Writing a better chapter for myself has meant redefining how I think about happily ever after.  I am on a mission to help women find that fairy happiness is possible from within. 

I don’t think we need a fairy tale ending to feel that fairy tale happiness we saw in the movies and read in the books as young women.  We are each individually already more than enough.  You have everything it takes to create an unconditional inner self-love.  You are the most interesting story, the most authentic fairy tale.  You don't need a knight or prince to bring you anything in this world we can't already find on our own.  You are writing the most beautiful story.

Do you feel that sense of inner happiness?  Do you feel even happier inside than what you thought the fairy tale could bring you? 

In the story of your life, the pages will continue to turn as you move through.  I don’t count on an “ending” to my story.  I do count on constantly evolving into new beginnings.  And that’s what I offer to you, a sense that the fairy tale ending isn’t really the goal at all.  The goal is feeling that fairy tale happiness inside of you, and it is possible to feel it before, during, and after divorce.

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